Change

by Megan on August 23, 2010

Every time I decide to grow my hair out..or cut it…someone close to me says…Oh.  I love it the way it is.

Many of my old friends have not responded to my emails about my work now.  The dance.  Or whatever.  I can only assume that they aren’t digging it.  (It doesn’t fit your picture of me?)

I used to be shy.  (Hard to believe?)  I used to be obedient.  I have changed.  Or rather, I am uncovering.  What is now always was.  But quieted.

Here’s the thing.  I have to see myself as an energy.  Pink.  Sweet.  Hot.  It moves.  It CHANGES.

In my lifetime of perfectionism, of looking at end products and deciding that doing nothing was better then failing, I was stuck.  I had to change.

I fought my way to the inside.  I cried and kicked and screamed and made a fool of myself.

But now.  Finally.  I just grow and change.  I’m no longer ruled by what will be successful.  What everyone will love.  What will make everyone comfortable.

I’m open to something greater.   Source.  And I let it move me forward.  I know I’m sounding all cornball.  (Cornball is so not me.)

But it’s the truth.  If my changing makes you uncomfortable, it’s because I’m showing you the scary fucking inevitable.  Everything.  Changes.

So to my old friends who don’t get me, I love you.  To my closest circle, I love you even more.  Be brave with me.

Go ahead.  Cut your hair.  Dress it up.  Take it off.  Let yourself fall into the river of change that is happening.  Show us how you do it.

(This post is for Tim.  He suggested this idea.  He’s also bravely and sweetly unafraid of the ever changing me.)

Change

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  1. I Can Change (doing it to LCD)

Tagged as: Change

  • http://www.thepmteam.com sara

    So a “friend” asked me if I was happy. I said ecstatic most days! He said good and I that he loves me and I can be my “authentic self” with him. I told him to stop listening to what he had heard about “my authentic” self and he needed to look at one thing; we are all evolving authentic beings. My authenticity is only as rich as my living each moment to the fullest and report to my mirror which looks me back in the eyes daily. Everyday there is a reflection of a me willing to change and learn how much more is under the surface that may be authentic or not.
    CHANGE IS ALL WE have other than this moment!

  • http://www.thepmteam.com sara

    So a “friend” asked me if I was happy. I said ecstatic most days! He said good and I that he loves me and I can be my “authentic self” with him. I told him to stop listening to what he had heard about “my authentic” self and he needed to look at one thing; we are all evolving authentic beings. My authenticity is only as rich as my living each moment to the fullest and report to my mirror which looks me back in the eyes daily. Everyday there is a reflection of a me willing to change and learn how much more is under the surface that may be authentic or not.
    CHANGE IS ALL WE have other than this moment!

  • Pam

    My mother keeps telling me I’ve changed. I don’t think she means this in a nice way. That sort of hurts. The thing is, I feel like I’m still me, but I have grown, evolved. I’ve let some of the inner me emerge. I’ve embraced some new ideas. Tried new things. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be like? Change, evolution, learning, growth?

    I like myself. I do goofy things. I do interesting things. I am myself and I’m happy with that.

    What’s that saying? The only constant in life is change.

  • Pam

    My mother keeps telling me I’ve changed. I don’t think she means this in a nice way. That sort of hurts. The thing is, I feel like I’m still me, but I have grown, evolved. I’ve let some of the inner me emerge. I’ve embraced some new ideas. Tried new things. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be like? Change, evolution, learning, growth?

    I like myself. I do goofy things. I do interesting things. I am myself and I’m happy with that.

    What’s that saying? The only constant in life is change.

  • http://allabouttheenergy.com Frank Dickinson

    Good god almighty this is powerful!

    “the scary fucking inevitable” is what should move us to greater and greater heights – and if people around us don’t like it, or get it or whatever….

    Sorry.

    Perfect!

  • http://allabouttheenergy.com Frank Dickinson

    Good god almighty this is powerful!

    “the scary fucking inevitable” is what should move us to greater and greater heights – and if people around us don’t like it, or get it or whatever….

    Sorry.

    Perfect!

  • http://www.randomshelly.com/blog/ Shelly

    Pink sweet and HOT – WOO HOO! :) Great energy!

    and this: “But now. Finally. I just grow and change. I’m no longer ruled by what will be successful. What everyone will love. What will make everyone comfortable.” <<<< AWESOME!!!

    Tim is a smart man – you are lucky to have found someone who 100% wants you to be YOU! :)

    and yes…. EVERYTHING. CHANGES. :) it IS fucking inevitable.

    and umm… YES, it IS hard to believe that you were shy… seriously. ;)

  • http://www.randomshelly.com/blog/ Shelly

    Pink sweet and HOT – WOO HOO! :) Great energy!

    and this: “But now. Finally. I just grow and change. I’m no longer ruled by what will be successful. What everyone will love. What will make everyone comfortable.” <<<< AWESOME!!!

    Tim is a smart man – you are lucky to have found someone who 100% wants you to be YOU! :)

    and yes…. EVERYTHING. CHANGES. :) it IS fucking inevitable.

    and umm… YES, it IS hard to believe that you were shy… seriously. ;)

  • Susan

    This one made me think. Alot. Not that that is new with your blog. I usually feel like that. But this one.

    Change can be scary, but it is inevitable. And many times change is a good thing (even occasionally great). It’s definitely constant.

    Thank you for sharing this!

  • Susan

    This one made me think. Alot. Not that that is new with your blog. I usually feel like that. But this one.

    Change can be scary, but it is inevitable. And many times change is a good thing (even occasionally great). It’s definitely constant.

    Thank you for sharing this!

  • http://www.blisschick.net Christine (Blisschick) Reed

    The happier I got when I returned to dance, the more it scared certain people around me.

    But those who truly love me in that pure and unconditional way were only too happy to join in the ride! :)

    The “friends” that fell away…detritus attached to my stuck! Harsh? Maybe. But true.

    You. Are. Awesome. :)

  • http://www.blisschick.net Christine (Blisschick) Reed

    The happier I got when I returned to dance, the more it scared certain people around me.

    But those who truly love me in that pure and unconditional way were only too happy to join in the ride! :)

    The “friends” that fell away…detritus attached to my stuck! Harsh? Maybe. But true.

    You. Are. Awesome. :)

  • Eric

    my god. If things didnt change i would simply curl up and die. So would you.

  • Eric

    my god. If things didnt change i would simply curl up and die. So would you.

  • Jackie

    Well I just met you and I sure do like you so change change away!
    You are inspiring. I call you ‘my new hero’ to my three closest girlfriends : )
    I mail them links to your blog to share!

  • Jackie

    Well I just met you and I sure do like you so change change away!
    You are inspiring. I call you ‘my new hero’ to my three closest girlfriends : )
    I mail them links to your blog to share!

  • Delia

    I am one of the friends Jackie is referring to and I agree! Your posts are very inspiring. I myself am going through a lot of scary changes right now, and sometimes I think I’m being stupid or not ready- reading posts like yours give me the courage to say “fuck it” and jump.

  • Delia

    I am one of the friends Jackie is referring to and I agree! Your posts are very inspiring. I myself am going through a lot of scary changes right now, and sometimes I think I’m being stupid or not ready- reading posts like yours give me the courage to say “fuck it” and jump.

  • tim

    Keep moving forward. Brave and strong. And, loving, too.

  • tim

    Keep moving forward. Brave and strong. And, loving, too.

  • deborah

    i see life as a journey forward, my worst moments are when that motion stops. i thought the goal was to keep changing ,evolving learning more to keep growing more??? Thank god we are not the same at almost 50 than at 20!! keep changing sister!! Life is way more interesting if you do!!

  • deborah

    i see life as a journey forward, my worst moments are when that motion stops. i thought the goal was to keep changing ,evolving learning more to keep growing more??? Thank god we are not the same at almost 50 than at 20!! keep changing sister!! Life is way more interesting if you do!!

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